On Calling and Weariness

A big "Thank you!" to my friend Sara, who called to encourage me a few days ago. She hinted at using the "s" word...Slacker!....in reference to my blog....but was kindly encouraging me to get back to it. To my friends and family who do read, I am sorry it's been well over two weeks of nothing! I have lots of reasons why, but I'll spare you. Suffice it to say, the Lord has laid it on my heart to return today.

God has been teaching me so much lately, that I find difficulty trying to condense it or select things to write here. For one thing, I've been reading A Burning and a Shining Light: English Spirituality in the age of Wesley (edited by David Lyle Jeffrey). This is such a rich book. I read it in college for one of my many English Lit. classes, but reading it now, 12 or so years later, I am amazed at how God has lovingly changed my heart. Watts, Newton, Wilberforce, Fletcher, Doddridge, Smart...these men were passionate for God. It's so interesting to re-read their works in light of my own growth and deeper understanding of God's word and His Spirit's work in my life. I highly recommend it! Interestingly enough. It hasn't just been this book that God has led me back to, but it is almost as though He has planned a course in the "English Revivalist Age." We recently rented the movie "The Mission" (won best cinematography for 1987) which is set in Brazil, during the Spanish occupation. Now this fits within the time period of the "course" but it is not about English spirituality. It is about (Spanish) Jesuit priests who fight against the enslavement of native Brazil tribes. It is also about the division of church and state, and the underhanded way the church is persecuted by the government of men. These priests were putting their faith into action, at the cost of losing their own lives. My heart was pricked. I was already well into my book when I noticed that Handel's Messiah was being performed at Calvary Church...so I decided to take the girls! Keith was away in Florida and I figured it was a good way to spend some "girl time" together. Being reminded of Handel's rich legacy...his own meditation of Scripture, set in the time of the English men I'd been studying, was yet another piece in the puzzle. Then, to top it off, we received Amazing Grace, the movie, in the mail Tuesday, which we've been eagerly waiting to see. This was extremely helpful...to see the faith of men like Newton and Wilberforce in action...the account portrays Wilberforce very much true to what the short biography in my book reports of him. I was challenged by Wilberforce's decision to "do both"....that is, to tell of the glories of God while engaging his ability to act in social reform. According to his biography, W. remained thorougly true to the Savior during his time of high visibility in England...leaving a legacy of godly fathering to his children, which was a strong sign of his leadership within his home.

Now, I'm probably never going to do much in the area of social reform in my lifetime. But the point I've taken away from all of this is that no matter what God calls us to...whether highly public or mainly private...He will supply the grace we need to walk worthy of the gospel. What does that mean for me? For you? God will show you. For me, I know training up my children in the fear of the Lord is a calling. He will supply grace for it. Helping my husband to write songs for the church...as well as the typical wifely duties...are my calling right now. Also, continuing to use my mind and heart to study His word and keep a record of His teaching and work in my life is a calling. So if you are my friend, ask me about these things...ask me if I'm walking in faith toward what God has for me to do. In Malachi, God speaks these words to his people through his prophet, "But you say 'What weariness this is,' and you snort at it, says the the Lord of hosts. You bring what has been taken by violence or is lame or sick, and this you bring as your offering! Shall I accept this from your hand? says the Lord...For I am a great king, says the Lord of hosts, and my name will be feared among the nations." Mal. 1:13b-14

I have had this lackadaisical attitude. I have muttered "what a weariness this is." I have neglected my offering at times because I grow weary of the routine God gives me. But He is a great king, and my muttering shows the lack of honor I have for Him. I have repented of this, asking God to help my unbelief when "the going gets tough." I have said that my life is like a hamster wheel, from which I can never get off. This is hopeless and full of unbelief. God is giving me opportunity day after day, to serve Him in a calling. I want to be faithful. I want to be faith-filled. I want to not say "what a weariness this is" any more. Pray for me!