Surprise! (And Thanksgiving too....)

What a weekend! OK, well, it's now Wednesday...but for me the weekend just ended because I'm now home from a 7 day trip to western PA. "Why a 7 day trip for Thanksgiving?" you may ask...Well for me this holiday was more about the Surprise Birthday Party for my dad's 70th year on earth. His actual b-day was Nov. 16th, but knowing we'd be "home" for Thanksgiving, we planned the party for the 27th. BOY was it a surprise! He never suspected a thing! Not an easy undertaking for 40+ guests, 3 little grandchildren who love to spill the beans, and a boatload of phonecalls back and forth which my mom had to "take" in the bathroom. My husband and I decided about 3 months ago that we'd like to plan this for my dad. He's the kind of guy who never really gets in the spotlight. We decided that for one year, that needed to change!

Though it took alot of man hours, tons of planning, secrecy, one location change 7 days before the event, and crazy running around town the day of the big event, we managed, by God's grace, to pull it off!

Here was the menu:

Sweet and sour meatballs
Parmesan Rosemary Pinwheels
Mini-quiche
Spinach dip
Shrimp dip/crackers
Artichoke dip/tortilla chips
Veggie trays/dip
Cheese, pepperoni, and cracker trays
Chex mix
Nut trays
M&M's (for the kids, of course...lol)
Large Sheet Cake...Delicious! (Must get at Giant Eagle)
Neapolitan Ice Cream
Coffee
Punch (sherbet, etc.)

All of this had to brought in about 4 hours before the party and prepared on-sight. Not an easy feat when we were living under the same roof as the birthday boy for the week! He didn't see the trunk-full of party supplies!

My wonderful husband spent countless hours scanning old pictures, selecting music, and piecing together a wonderful 15 minute video of my dad's last 70 years. What a gift! And what a keepsake for our family to have! I am indebted to Keith for all the hours he sacrificed his own time to do this for our family.

One of the best parts of all was that (nearly) my entire mom's side of the family was able to come. I haven't seen some of my cousins in about a decade. Not to mention their kids! I haven't seen my little second cousin (now 19) since she was a flower girl in my wedding 16 years ago. Now she's all grown up and a freshman in college.

All in all, it was a good weekend. I was also able to score two major purchases for Christmas at seriously reduced prices (black friday) including a DS-I for $89! Kmart was completely out of their promised DS lite, which was a good deal at $89, so the manager sold the first 12 of us in line the DS-I's for the $89 (which normally retail for $170). I prayed the night before, knowing that my early waking (5am) could come to nothing. God answered above and beyond what I imagined!

I could go on, but mostly, I just want to say, it's so good to be home. For however long God gives us our home here in Lancaster County, I want to make the most of it.

God Never Worries

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I often wake up in the morning with some dread or worry already hanging in my mind. I never could really put my finger on the exact cause, but it seemed like if I would take care of business items as soon as I awoke, it would at least lessen. "Business items" for me would be paying bills, checking and responding to emails, checking bank statements....etc. Once the girls and I got started with school and the day began moving into a routine, I'd usually notice the worried feeling was gone.

But this worry had been building over the last month or so and I would bring it up when talking with my husband. He would pray for me, leave me notes in the morning reminding me of the truth, etc. I knew God had something He wanted to teach me...but I was actually afraid to find out what it was.

Then on Tuesday, I had a thought, "God never worries." Simple. Scripturally sound. But not necessarily profound. I knew God wanted me to think about this...to ponder why He never worries. "How I wish I could be like that!" I'd think. "To never worry over anything again....that would be heaven." Yep. It would.

But then the real whammy thought came to me...as I began thinking about why I would worry for anything when I know God is good and completely in control, the truth suddenly struck me! "I know God has a plan for my life, a plan for this day, and I'm afraid it's not the same as the plan I have. I don't want it to be hard. I don't want it to be challenging. I think I've had enough of all that. But what if His plans do include something hard and challenging? What if I can't do it? What if I crumble under it?" Something was starting to click for me. Trusting God became more defined when I looked at it in these terms. Could I trust that God's plan was better for me than my own? Could I believe He would only ever do what was truly good for me, even if it hurt or pressed me to the end of myself? Hmmm.

Now I want to pause and just say, God has brought me through some pretty hard times. You can ask me about it sometime if you know me well. And here's the amazing thing...I wouldn't change any of it, knowing what I know now and seeing what God had in store all along. But if I had known ahead of time what was in store for me, I probably would have balked and said "I can't." This verse comes to mind in connection with this "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." 2 Cor. 9:8 What a promise!

So I'm not saying I'll never struggle with worry again, but I believe I've found a big root. Trusting God. No matter what. Not trusting in myself. Knowing His grace will be made to abound to me, so that I will have all the sufficiency I need in any situation. Believing this, preaching it to myself, is a spiritual discipline.
Maybe this hits you right where you're at today. Challenge yourself to trust God. He never worries.

Taking Time for the Beautiful

I just finished reading through various clips of blogs by John, Noel, Abraham, Karsten, and Molly. In case you're wondering.....these are all Pipers. Not pied Pipers, but just a family of fellow God-lovers.

Amazing how different their takes on life...yet one common thread of Christ. I could go into more detail about each one, but I'll let you do the research.

What tugged at my heart with each read was that each one is pursuing God passionately, but with such diverse venues. John is a scholar, writer, pastor, and theologian. Noel is a Pastor's wife, mother, grandmother,writer and speaker. Molly is a mom of baby twins and two active little boys. You get the idea...

I saw beauty in their words, in their pictures, in the way they put forth what matters most to them in life. Honoring God, honoring their parents, crafting words to capture exact moments and human emotions. Recipes that tantalize our taste buds and drive us to have people over, just to share the food. Honest confessions of pack-ratty-ness with before and after pictures of a big clean-out/renovation.
Grieving words over loss. All of it just speaking to the beauty of the life God gives us here on earth. Beauty we don't deserve. Peace we don't deserve. Life we don't deserve. These beautiful blessings are a hint of the "not yet" of heaven, where Christ will fully dazzle us with His beauty.

And I want to be more grateful. I want to show my gratefulness by living fully this life God gives me. Enjoying the wonderful family and friends God has granted me. Savoring food. Crying over beautiful music. Committing to memory the priceless words of Scripture. If I'm going to be an emotional woman, I might as well employ it all to the glory of God. So I'm promising to take time for the beautiful this week. A virtual stopping and smelling of the....coffee, hosta blooms, rosemary chicken in the crockpot. Ah....I can smell it now.

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fulness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11

Gravity or Levity?

Gravity: " 1. the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth. 2. heaviness or weight. 3. gravitation in general. 4. seriousness; dignity; solemnity 5. serious or critical character. 6. lowness in, pitch as of sounds." Levity: "1. lightness of mind, charater, or behavior; lack of proper seriousness or earnestness. 2. an instance or exhibition of this. 3. fickleness. 4. lightness in weight." The American college Dictionary

Which is better, gravity or levity? Because I'm struggling with these two. I believe the Bible calls me to both, but I don't do very well with balance in my life. You see, lately, I've been watching people here. Lancaster people. Women. Perhaps I am fooled, but it seems as though the women I'm watching have a holy levity in their lives that I do not. They seem to take (or make) time for things I might consider superfluous. Yet these are the very things that make life more meaningful and beauteous here on earth. Like making good food from scratch, growing vegetables, taking beautiful pictures of their children at play. Creating spaces in their homes that are not only lovely to look at, but are functional and efficient. And these things seem to absolutely be the norm, not the exception to their days. To me, these feel like luxuries in many ways. Efficiency in my life often kills all the beauty. When I pick one project to work on, it inevitably kills the time I would use for other endeavors. This past week I decided it was time to clean out all the old toys. But, wanting to be a good steward, I decided to clean them up, photograph them all, and itemize them for sale on Craigslist. Although I did make $60, it wreaked havoc on other parts of life. I injured my foot badly on day 1 of my endeavor, and spent the rest of the week limping around, trying to carryout my plans. Not efficient. I am currently trying to finish off the girls' homeschool portfolios, continuing to clean out old toys, help out some friends, and researching new curriculum for the fall. What I'd love to be doing is: repainting parts of the house, re-learning to sew, working on family scrapbooks, playing with my children, and writing more.

The reason I just decided to take 20 minutes and type up this entry is because my father-in-law specifically asked me to try and blog when we got home from Florida! (It's been almost a month now!) I guess what I'm asking, and praying honestly before the Lord is "What should these days of summer with my children look like, Lord? My heart yearns for one set of things,(levity), but real-life needs and "must-do's" pull me to gravity." I am so aware that my girls are quickly growing up. Keaton is now 11 and 1/3 years old. Only 7 more years before she's an adult. What do I want her to remember about home? What do I want her to take with her into adulthood? More gravity or levity? Lord, help me to find the balance in this life. I know it's not meant for us to have ease and beauty all of the time. Heaven is in our hearts, and we will long for it all of our days on earth. But help me, Lord, to find ways to bring the beauty you've created, the peace, and rest you give into my home. Not just through the things I do, but through the woman I am, through the attitude I carry. Bless this home with your love, peace, comfort, and rest. Amen.

Looking for the Living Among the Dead

This past weekend was spent in good ole western PA, where we lived once upon a time...nearly five years ago now. Some of the highlights were: almost a four hour coffee time at Panera with my dear friend Jamie, two egg-hunts for the kiddos, beautiful weather, and eating mom's sour cherry pie. To be sure, there really is no place like home... But home is where God has you living and learning for the time being. And I learned alot over the weekend.

We needed to walk through our rental house there (once known as "home" to us and our three babies). It's hard seeing someone else fill your home with their furniture, their pictures, and their family. I left feeling sad at the loss of all the history in the house, what moments might have been made there had we stayed. But I also felt the gladness of God leading us out... God did not keep us there, and for good reason.

On Sunday at my parents' church, my husband and I did something we haven't had the opportunity to do for about 6-7 years now...sing special music! I have to say, although I was glad to serve through music, I didn't feel any fulfillment in it. I'm quite content in my row at church, singing among the congregation. But I know we served the church there and made my parents' day.

Something the pastor said there yesterday really struck a chord with me. He, of course was preaching on the resurrection. His first point was "Why do you seek the living among the dead?" He referred to the way we, as fleshly people, seek life in the things of this world...dead things. There is no life to be had in wealth, or success, or homes, etc. Yet we continue pursuing these things as if all our happiness was somehow wrapped up in obtaining them. (These are my words, not his.) Our only life comes from the living God...and He is not found "among the dead." Quite a concept I'm still pondering. How often I seek the living among the dead by not seeking Christ, but only the gifts He can give me. I am so prone to wander. The ladies at the tomb had forgotten what Jesus had said about himself...the angel had to remind them. I need to return to Scripture to remind my heart what God says about Himself...and let my heart be cheered by it, just as Mary was on Resurrection day. And look what she did in return! She was so full of joy, she ran and told all that she had seen to the disciples. What a reflection of how the good news of Jesus' resurrection can change a woman's countenance and words! I need this today. I need to look back at what Jesus said about himself in the Scriptures and bask in the power He has to change the dead into the living.

Ups and Downs

What a ride these last few months have given us! My last post referred to the tightness of the funds around here...due to the "economy." But I am thrilled to report on several answers to prayer! First of all, things went better through the end of January, and our income was better than the prior two months. But then, much to our wondering eyes, a very generous gift of love from people in our church was hand delivered to us! In fact, several gifts in varying means have made their way into our hands these last few weeks. From the mysterious to the point-blank. We find ourselves, again, laughing with joy at the fullness which God has given us. And to top it off, today we did our taxes and were amazed again to see the refund we'll be getting...God's provision.

But there's more! A few weeks ago, my husband was approached about a new job in a company he highly respects. We were somewhat speechless at first...was God answering my specific prayers from Dec. 10th so quickly? In my journal, I had written specific criteria for the job we would like to see Keith in, including the hours, time off, and pay. This job offer seemed to be fulfilling all we had prayed for. Two months of specific prayer, and we were seeing God fulfill our desire for Keith to be home with us in the evenings again...something we haven't had for 5 years. And in the midst of it all, I have seen God grow my faith and joy in Him, which quite frankly, are inseperable. Faith and Joy are like the twin components of Loving God. You really can't seperate them. And seeing God work both in me these last 3 months has been an answer to prayer.

In the midst of all this wonderful provision, we found out that Keith's mom is no longer in remission with her ovarian cancer. Right now she is in the hospital battling a complication from a surgery 4 years ago. When she completes her next round of chemo, she will need surgery to fix this new complication. And yet her spirit seems settled on trusting God. I remember her telling me a few years ago after battling the cancer a while, "I just live each day at a time. That's all I can do." And I know this is God's plan for all of us. "Give us this day our daily bread..." He knows what is needed to press us to Him in each day's time. To worry over tomorrow is not trusting Him today. And it robs our joy, because we lack faith when we worry. (Remember the faith and joy twins?) "With my God I can scale a wall!" David told us. And David's God is my God too. He is unchanging. What He did for David, and Moses, and Joshua, Daniel...He can do for me.

"We're going the opposite way..."

Yesterday, I told the girls we would go for a nature walk in the lovely white snow. Since we homeschool, I was unaware that the school system had a two hour delay. As we left our house for a crisp walk in the winter air, we noticed other children walking too. It seemed strange until I realized there must have been a two hour delay. So as we approached the brick school building with bundled munchkins flanking the entrance, we needed to make a turn to continue our walk. The crossing guard looked at us strangely, as if to say, "uh,the school's thattaway..." I said to the girls, "No, we're turning left. We're going the opposite way."

"The opposite way." The words stuck in my head. That's really how I can think about homeschooling and public schooling. You see, for the last 8 weeks or so, things in the economy have seriously struck at my husband's paycheck. I had, after much thought and prayer, offered to pursue finding a job myself, which would mean returning our girls to public school. Although at first, this seemed like a treacherous idea, I had quieted my heart about it. I knew God may call me/us to do things we are not comfortable with, and this was one possibility. But my husband believes that this isn't the right solution for us for now, so I will stay at my post, the home, and keep caring for and teaching our girls full-time. But I am learning a valuable lesson through all of this. Our family will continue to be preserved by God, whether I have to reenter the workforce or not. It is not I, the stay-at-home mom, or homeschooling, or any sort of persuasion that keeps us rooted. It is simply, yet profoundly, the kindness of God. He is the one who determines our steps, no matter how we plan. So while I pray to be able to keep my chicks in the pen, I am willing to do whatever needs done. I don't need to fear the future because God is on His throne, ruling my life as He always has. So for now, I remember to be thankful each day I'm home with the girls. But I realize how fragile it all is, how God may ask any of us to go through what we dread... And that He will bring us through it, to the praise of His name.