Refreshed and Refocused

I had a great opportunity this weekend to just get away...Our Care Group Ladies' retreat that happens about once a year took place this Friday night-Saturday dinner. Lots of relaxing atmosphere in a lovely "Woods House, " lots of fellowship with care group ladies and lots of time...time to listen, read, respond, pray, and plan. I am grateful for all the guidance God gave me this weekend, both through friends and His Word. I was able to focus some energy on writing a love letter to my husband, telling him all the amazing evidences of grace I see in His life, make plans for organizing the home better, plans for organizing our day better, and perhaps most neccessary was the time I spent reflecting on God's goodness to me. I was overwhelmed with all He has done and brought in my life, and my eyes welled up with tears several times.

Ironically, after such a restful and refocusing time, God had a big challenge awaiting me yesterday. As most of my close friends could tell you, I battle the "tidy house" idol. Yes, it's not just a preference or a liking or even a healthy ideal. It is an idol. You will see that as I explain. Last night at 5:30 we were expecting to drop off our kiddos at another family's home while we had a "date night." We had napped as a family and generally "taken it easy" on this Sabbath. However, at about 5:25, the family pulled up in front of our house instead. "Um....they're here....??" Keith announced. "This can't be happening," I reason. My heart temporarily stops beating...I look around at toys, dishes, and general "untidy" plots of house. I take action...quickly rushing to clean up as much as possible before this family makes the 5o foot walk from their vehicle to my front door. I know it is pointless, but my prideful heart is making every attempt to "save face" by rushing around like a mad woman, picking up and trying to bring order in about 30 seconds. Then it's time to welcome them in...and I'm in the kitchen, trying to wash up a casserole dish left from lunch. (My heart is battling embarrassment, fear of judgement, fear of being found "messy." ) I am quiet as we leave the house. Keith knows this "date night" will not be spent lingering over dinner, talking about the kids or our upcoming plans for the house or anything like that. It will be spent gently helping me talk through how the gospel speaks to this issue in my life! And so it went....sitting for a long while in the parking lot of the restaurant we were supposed to go to...talking...tears being shed as I realize how deep this battle goes for me. And my wonderful husband pointing me back to the truth. The truth that God is intent on my heart above all else. And that I am fearing man...wanting approval. And that God is the only one I should fear. Our friends had no intentions of bringing on such a revealing time, they simply came to serve. And they certainly did not come to monitor my housekeeping on a Sunday afternoon. My husband helped me gently see these things. By the time we returned to the house, I was still weak-kneed, but generally thankful that God had planned this moment.

When we ask God to "conform us to the image of His Son" we don't get to choose the venue in which He will do it. This certainly was true for me yesterday. Do I want to be conformed to the humility of Christ? Absolutely. Do I want people to ever see my house untidy. No please!!! Does God plan to cross-reference the two. Apparently. Many times, the gospel will show it's worth to us when the sin we struggle with the most and the incident which exposes that sin the most collide. What will we do in that moment? Will we react or respond? Will we be angry or grateful? This, I'm convinced, is what the rest of our lives, "sanctification" as we know it, will be about. This is so hard, and yet so kind, of God. I hope this encourages you today. God is intent on not just my heart, but yours. What area are you afraid God will expose in order to kill an idol? Do not fear it, it is for your good and God's glory.