Killing the Fear

Yesterday our whole family of 5 completed our church one-mile cross-country race. And folks, I dooooo mean Cross-Country. Those hills are killer. This is no small accomplishment for us! Just a short illstration here: up until about 3 pm, 1 hour before race time, our middle daughter was complaining that she no longer wanted to do the run. We swayed back and forth ourselves on whether to go or not, being that we'd had a very busy weekend already and were expecting company that night...just 2 hours after the race. Finally, Keith said "Let's just do it!" (Thanks Nike.) And we did. Ironically, Kara, our middle daughter finished before the rest of us...coming in 71st. Kendall (age 6)was next at 85th , Keith at 86th (He of course ran with her to spur her on), Keaton at 95th, and me at 103rd. I only jogged probably the first 1/8th of a mile or so...basically until we started going uphill! But here's the thing friends...I was killing fear of man with each step...swinging my arms to make the hills, sweating and looking like the unfit middle-age-mom that I am in front of hundreds of church people: this is premium offense to kill all worry about "What will people think?" As I look back on the pictures of me doing the race, I have mixed feelings. Proud of myself (in a humble way, of course!) for doing it and not wimping out, slight tinges of embarassment at how my body looks as I exercise, and yet, presiding over it all, the knowledge that the Lord is the "lifter of my head" and was spurring me on in this. So this morning, I took my three-loops around my new "course" at home, walking, jogging, and feeling better than I did yesterday. And I think to myself..."hmmm...maybe next year at this time, I could actually JOG the mile instead of mostly walking it!" And I think I just might.